At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
