Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
