I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
