never play flip cup with pint glasses
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
you inspire me to be a worse person
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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