she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
if only i could text you this smell
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
