finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
