no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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