I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
