Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
