He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
