Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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