i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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