apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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