Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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