Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
