Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
