i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Randomize
