I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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