can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He told me they were just razor bumps!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
