I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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