he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
