I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize