It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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