So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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