im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize