Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Let's get the cat blown out
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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