Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
