Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
