also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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