So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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