Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
