I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
