he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
