Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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