I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We left an ass print on the piano.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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