a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
