her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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