it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Randomize
