i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
