I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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