Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
