you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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