Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
