You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
