it was like his penis was on wheels.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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