What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
do nipples grow back?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
