I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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