No awkward lesbian experiences without me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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