Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
