Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Randomize
