I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
