Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
