a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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