If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize