somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Where is the hickey?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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