new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
