This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
