She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
