i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
