found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm sobbing to NWA
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
